…I can't believe that I'm writing this and risking everything in my life in order to express this. It goes against everything that one would consider normal – perhaps against sanity itself - but I cannot stop it
I believe the same is raging in your heart and body as well. When I see you, I see a strong woman that exudes confidence and doesn’t suffer fools.
You have a skin complexion so clear that bronzes your face and body year around. Invisible are the scars you carry from the past. You are in absolute control of your womanhood. There has been no loss to your femininity in your strength. You have been denied a real man and deferred the desires you deserve to be fulfilled.
You do not realize the power your sexuality has on me. Day and night, asleep and awake, my mind and body crave to be inside of you. To meld my desires and yours- to give in to them with abandon. No depth of emotion can be withheld. It’s all or nothing for me.
I have sincere admiration for you. You could pull yourself up off the ground and move forward on your own after other lesser men abused your affections and left you with their inherent responsibility. You gave freely and they spurned your love. You were young and trusting. Longing for the simple life- a family and a man to love and love you back. For unknown reasons, no one offered you anything other than a romp in the hay to use your body and add a notch to their belt assuming you were an easy lay, vulnerable and willing to open your legs promising you something more.
That isn’t me…, I would love to hold your hand and bring you into my embrace, your breasts against my chest. I want to cup your neck and pull you into a soft kiss until our tongues meet- the first chance to taste the other. I want to know that the barrier has been broken… forever changing us. I want to slowly undress you from the top. To lift up your shirt, run my hands over your breasts and follow the bra to its hooks. I can already feel the adrenaline when it comes undone. Once the bra drops I can suck and lick your erect nipples and the taste is good. We can unzip and peel your pants off when you lay back and then slowly roll down your panties while I kiss every inch downwards meeting your beautiful mound. Your pubic hair is fine, not brushy and wiry. I need and want to stop and gaze at it and smell its smell and taste its taste priming itself for what’s to come.
It’s time for me to take off my clothes. You have opened up to me and I clumsily disrobe in the haste of my lust for you. My pants come off slower because of my full and beating erection. Dribbles of cum are already beading up on the head of my dick.
I crave to feel the contours of your body, the low of your back turning into your ass, the flesh of your butt in my hands. I can’t contain my desire to kiss every inch of your full and bare ass. I want my finger to run down the center of your ass and touch it through and through. I need to hear your breath change and your blue eyes sink into mine with sweet surrender but also knowing their power over me. I want your neck and breasts to feel my breath and tongue. I want to caress your butt and trace its contour with nothing off-limits. Laying my head in the low of your back and looking longingly at the heart shape of your ass. I want to own your ass and cum in it because I want all of you.
I want to see and fuck you on your back and your stomach. I want you on top of me, sliding my dick into you, accepting me and giving into your desire. I want to feel your clit with my tongue and give you the beautiful agony of release. I want you on top of me grinding your clit against my pelvic bone. I want you gasping for air and losing yourself in pure lust and love. I want your sweet pussy to clamp me down and have your way with me as a strong woman using me to satisfy what you have missed for so long. I want to own your wet pussy and body and embrace me more and more with each throbbing thrust into you. I want you to give in and unleash all your reservations and worries. Let the wetness flow and wash the worry away. I want to release all my love and lust inside you becoming one at that moment. You will accept me and I will give to you. You need to feel and hear me cum knowing that I meant it. Years of longing released into groans of ecstasy. I want to see the otherworldly trance you are in again and again. I want to see you quiver with orgasm after orgasm letting go of everything knowing that you have weakened me. I need to cum inside you, feeling the warmth fill you up. I want to lick that out of you and share it, kissing and running our tongues with the taste of my love for you. I want to lay with you and embrace our bodies against each other and take in your beautiful face. I want to be with you and in you for all times. I NEED you. Kurt.
Kurt shook as he finished the letter on his laptop. His hands were shaking trying to decide if he should send it to the printer and give it to her in person or simply email it. He had gone over it and over it. He had put every sexual thought he had about her into this letter. Putting all his thoughts and desires down helped him decide how to move forward.
He knew the letter contained mostly sexual impulses and confused feelings but it was the thing that was always there, the unspoken ‘thing’ between them when they talked and saw each other. Neither of them had dared to go that far, to ante up to what they knew each of them wanted. Their conversations were never long and always punctuated by breaking them off before they went too far and long. Eyes were always watching, or so he felt.
In a normal world it wouldn’t be such a big step. Two mature people who wanted and needed each other but this wasn’t normal. Kurt was still married. To this woman’s sister.
Even to him, with all these genuine feelings of love and pure lust, the whole thing stopped him in his tracks. But normalcy and what people considered decent and proper just didn’t apply. Jessa was the complete opposite of his wife Ida. Where Ida was dark and controlling outside the sexual sphere, Jessa was bright and strong. The real truth was Kurt and Ida’s marriage was over. The strong sexual chemistry and love they had as college students didn’t go far beyond.
About a year and a half ago he knew Ida was cheating on him with a former coworker. Ida began working late several times a week. The ‘working late’ ruse was obvious because the paychecks were the same or less. She turned away from him in bed more often than not. When they did fuck he usually just pulled out and came on her tits or face and let her clean it up. A year ago it bothered him, now he made sure he was the one to turn away. He was not going to be cuckolded. At the ripe old ages of twenty-six and twenty-seven they would be divorcees. He was simply waiting.
But why Jessa? How did he end up here? At his age and her being twenty-four, they had options. Especially Jessa. She was at the end of her Bachelor of Arts in Education. She wanted to be a high school English teacher. This was an amazing testament to her grit considering that she had a six-year-old son. Most girls in her situation were single moms on welfare and moving from man to man looking for a gravy train. He remembered the situation well because Ida ranted on and on about how slutty her little sister was and had major ‘daddy’ issues.
Jessa had been a foolish and naïve teenager, graced with stunning looks and a fully developed body, that believed she had fallen in love with a dreamy prince who in reality was a stereotypical asshole jock. After two months of dating, she ended up pregnant. The family wanted her to give the child up for adoption. The parents didn’t want to be bothered with helping out their slutty daughter. All hell broke loose. She had lost her virginity to the boy. Ida claimed that it was only the second time Jessa had had sex with him. Mr. Jock denied paternity through the whole pregnancy and didn’t bother showing up for the birth. Jessa knew who the father was. After a court-ordered paternity test, there was no doubt. Rather than accept the truth and be a father, he joined the Marine Corps and never contacted her or the baby. By court order, the minimal child support came in, a mere 200 dollars a month.
As a testament to Jessa’s strength she kept the boy by working part-time as a waitress and taking online classes. She accepted her responsibility and shunned dating. Even though she had a son at eighteen, the line of men ready to be with her included men with secure jobs including one of her former teachers. The English teacher who had encouraged her to pursue writing as a profession.
Her dad had treated her rather shabbily but accepted their grandson but not the situation. He was relentless in his suggestion that she ‘find a man because she wasn’t going to raise this boy’ and ‘he needs a father’. The tension grew and grew till she finally moved into a two-bedroom apartment with a friend from high school.
Her life now consisted of men who wanted to use her as a cum dumpster and throw her away on the one hand and the other of men who assumed that she was desperate and therefore an easy lay. Unlike some women whose bodies were destroyed by childbirth, hers simply developed into a woman. Stretch marks were non-existent on her stomach leaving her skin in perfect condition. Her breasts grew fuller and her ass filled out into perfection.
Most of her friends had abandoned her once the baby took her out of the party scene. The girl she lived with was constantly bringing home men and fucking loudly enough to wake up the infant. She had nowhere else to really go that she could afford. Ida was not about to let her flaming hot sister into the house. She wanted no competition and certainly not her sister.
Two sisters one man. The story was as old as the Bible. Jacob worked for seven years to obtain one wife only to be tricked into consummating the marriage with her sister. The father wanted to get rid of both daughters. It was customary until the twentieth century for a man to take in the wife’s sister if she had been widowed.
Kurt felt so conflicted. It would be different if he had a sisterly relationship with her sister in law but both sisters kept their distance. If he and Jessa ‘consumated’ the deal, how would society see it? Would her family reject her? Or did it even matter?
Ida and Jessa were not close since their early teens when their parents divorced and Ida stayed with her mother, and Jessa her father. Rifts evolved as the parents played the children against the other. Ida’s mother was an old-fashioned American slut. The beauty her daughters possessed had come mostly from Mother. The same lustiness these women could produce in men was used by Ida’s mother ad nauseum.
Ida had attracted Kurt during their junior year of college from out of nowhere. A beach party of free spirits and alcohol and precious herb moved both their spirits into stripping just out of the light of the campfire and fucking while the party continued twenty feet away.
Kurt had found his sex goddess. The thing every red-blooded male wanted to mate with. Fortunately, she had no boyfriend and he no girlfriend. Both of their desires were insatiable. Ida loved the build Kurt had developed from a lifetime of wrestling. The intense growth and training he experienced wrestling for Cal Tech chiseled him to a Greek god not yet matured fully. She even adored the cauliflower ears he developed. She recognized it as a battle scar. Misshapen and always red and swollen except during the peak of off-season. She had no sexual hangups. They had basically fucked in front of an audience within hours of meeting each other.
If Ida wasn’t fucking she was studying. If Kurt wasn’t wrestling, he was fucking Ida. The glorious days that they thought would never end abruptly did end. Her degree in Finance landed her a decent job in a brokerage. A sexy woman with a brain that could compete with the men in the office surprisingly went over well. But in a high-powered, high-energy world of highs and lows and financial windfalls and withering-dying on the vine losses produced emotion. Emotion in a place where she worked along with men of wealth and means was a drug.
Her sexuality was too much for most men to ignore. If she wanted one of the men she worked with, it was just a matter of time. She took aim, pointed her ‘come hither’ finger and they came. Usually twice.
He had suspected her before but she still put out eagerly at home so he let those thoughts go. But now she confessed - no, announced - who she was fucking and was going to fuck. It was Ed Ames, her supervisor and mentor. He was a thirty-eight-year-old triathlete who didn’t look a day over thirty. A father of two who could no longer face the wife who had started out as a buxom beauty from Georgia that had turned into a pompous, entitled woman severely overweight. He made enough money to set up his family and trade in the old model for a younger, hotter one who could keep up with his sex drive.
Kurt was hurt but not surprised. There hadn’t been much fanfare or arguing. Ida came home late one night, sat down on the couch next to him and watched the news for a couple of minutes. Kurt asked her how her day had gone. The response came cool and matter of fact.
“I’m fucking Ed. In fact, my vagina and clit are so sore I have to take a couple of days off. I’m sure you won’t have a problem finding someone else… You’ve always been good to me but we have both changed and I need to move on.”
Kurt looked directly at her and raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s been obvious that you are no longer interested in my dick. I guess I should have known it wouldn’t last that first night we fucked in front of an audience on the beach.”
With that revelation weeks ticked by neither of them making any action to move except for sleeping in different rooms.
Kurt took the time to reflect on what had brought him to this point and was unsure of where to go from here. It wasn’t hard to understand once he accepted the shallowness of his wife. Kurt was a Physical Education teacher and wrestling coach in the San Luis Obispo school district. On teacher’s pay, Ida made sure he knew his place financially.
Their seven years of relationship total and four years of marriage had been difficult. There wasn’t much fighting which can be almost as bad as fighting constantly. Up until the last year when ‘office hours’ increased, they had fucked at least five nights a week or if they were busy, step it up on the weekends. Kurt was so in love with Ida’s body that he physically craved her. He had only jacked off a handful of times since they had been married.
He didn’t really meet Jessa for the first two years of Kurt and Ida’s relationship. He was obviously struck by her beauty and resemblance to Ida. Under the sexual spell of Ida he just viewed her as Ida’s sister. Not a dirty thought passed his mind. She was more reserved than Ida. He just couldn’t picture her fucking on the beach barely in the shadows. Her boyfriend at the time was not an athlete but a pre-med student. Kurt actually thought he was geeky but Jessa was not embarrassed of him at all. Even though Kurt was a jock who trained Mixed Martial Arts and had several pro fights under his belt, he never judged a guy wholly on his abs or biceps.
Jessa friend requested him on Facebook. He accepted and didn’t think much of it. He almost pitied her looking at her profile. Fairly boring with pictures of her kid and other stuff moms posted. She was obviously very different than Ida whose Facebook was a full-on dedication to herself and her view of the world.
Jessa was respectful of his marriage and didn’t pry too much. When Kurt stopped appearing in Ida’s social media he began to get messages from her. Knowing her sister, she couldn’t help but be curious of where he’d gone. Like so many people, people used their social media to show off their life. Instead of Kurt, pictures of Ed and links to his race results were liked and shared on her page.
Jessa asked how things were going and that she hadn’t seen him on Facebook in Ida’s feed or his own. As a teacher, he was very leery of posting too much on Facebook. But it had been six months since he had posted anything.
Soon two months had passed since Ida’s revelation and her announcement to the family that they were separating. Her slut of a mother applauded her for finding a ‘better man’.
- to be continued.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.