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Family Embrace - Chapter 1

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A story about family love . . .

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've had fun writing it.

My hands clench and unclench as I stared at my phone. The number dialed, I just have to hit the button. I have nobody else to turn to, I have to make this call. My mother would help me in a second, but she’s done so much for me already. I can’t make her drop everything again, just to bail me out. My mother has always been very strict, but underneath it all I know she loves me unconditionally. Ever since my father cheated on her and left the family she has been closed off and distant. I know she would help me, but I couldn’t put her through even more stress in her life. I had another family member, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hit the damn button.

Would she even answer my call? It’s been 2 years since I last talked to my sister. We left things kind of rocky after I told her to butt out of my life. She didn’t think my girlfriend was being faithful, I didn’t want to hear it and I blew up at my sister. After a few days I regretted my words and wanted to apologize, but I chickened out every time I dialed her number. Then two weeks ago I walk in on my girlfriend fucking one of my coworkers. I’ve sat up at night thinking about my sister’s words, I should have listened to her. She was only trying to protect me, it’s her nature. 

Unlike my mother, my sister is very open and loveable. She is the perfect friend, always looking after the people she cares about the most. She is also insanely beautiful, but she shares that trait with my mother.

Still staring at my phone I decided enough was enough. I hit the button and brought it to my ear. As I heard the ringing I immediately felt the need to end the call. This was bad, what am I going to say? Oh my god, I didn’t think this through at all.

Hello?” My sister’s kind voice came through the phone. She didn’t sound mad. Good.

“Hey, long time no see” I respond. What the fuck. Smooth move jackass. What a stupid thing to say.

I’m really sorry, but who is this, it’s not a number I have saved” I hear my sister say in confusion.

Huh? Did she delete me from her phone? I cut her out of my life, of course she would delete my number. I was such a jerk, it’s really not surprising. Well, this idea is dead in the water. Maybe I should just call mom and see . . wait . . . .  oh, I changed my carrier a year ago. Ok, this isn’t bad, I can do this. Honestly I could just hang up now and she would never know I called her. I have a strong desire to just end the call, but I pushed myself this far, all I have to do is follow through. Yeah, easier said than done.

Hello? Are you still there?” My sister says, even more confused.

Sorry I got a new phone. This is Devin. How have you been sis?” I say with more confidence than I currently possess.

Silence.

Ok, the realization that this was a terrible idea has never been clearer. Maybe I should say sorry and just hang the phone up. Yeah, that’s what I should do.

Oh my god, Devin is that really you? What’s going on, why are you calling me? I thought you never wanted to talk to me again?” My sister’s voice responded, I could hear the hurt in her words. Had she carried this hurt with her for two years?  I felt terrible when I said it, but that can’t compare with the shame I am currently feeling. Men will do stupid things when in love, or I should say in lust. Love is tricky. I love my family, of course I do, but that can’t compare to the mind numbing void of thinking about sex and only sex. This is what I felt with Tracy, my ex. The things I did to impress her make me cringe.

Emma, you have no idea the shame I feel for having said those words to you. The fact that you were right just makes things worse. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. All I can do is say that I will try to be a better little brother in the future. I’m so sorry.” I say with conviction. I will do everything in my power to make this right.

Dev stop, I’m just glad to hear from you. It’s been . . . wait, I was right?”

“Yeah, you were right, I caught her in bed with a co-worker.”

“What? She cheated on you? Why would she do that? Oh my god, Dev I’m so sorry.”

“Emma it’s ok, I left her and it’s all behind me now” I said, even though it still hurt. The feeling of rejection, the feeling of being duped. The humiliation of having to face my co-worker for weeks after finding them. The call was going well, but now I had to ask her for help. This was going to be the most difficult part. Eating crow, yeah, I can do that. Begging, on the other hand, I find to be very difficult. 

Emma, look I’m glad you’re not mad at me, but I have to ask you a favor. I understand if you say no, I mean after everything I said I wouldn’t blame you, but I have no place to go. I need a place to stay, I just quit my job.”

Silence.

 Deafening silence.

 Oh wow, my heart is pounding out of my chest. She doesn’t want to see me. That’s why she isn’t saying anything. I can’t blame her. I’ve lost my sister, one of the nicest people I know hates me. This is what I deserve. Ok, the silence is getting out of hand.

Emma, don’t worry about it” I start to say, but the phone rings directly in my ear. Holy shit, that was loud. Looking down I see a picture of my sister next to my mother. Emma is calling me. The call dropped? My sister doesn’t hate me? I might not be living on the street?

Oh thank god, I thought you hung up on me” I say, laughing a little, after picking up the call.

“Dev I am so sorry, my phone died. I forgot to charge it last night. You said you needed a favor?”

“Yeah, I do.” Somehow this was harder the second time around. “Look I understand if you say no, but I currently have no place to stay. I quit my job this morning. I couldn’t take it anymore. The humiliation. .

“Wait, what? You quit your job? What are you humiliated about? Of course you can stay with me, you’re always welcome to stay with me . . .  . . Well I have to ask Cory to make sure it’s ok . . . . . . . .  But I am sure he will be fine with it.” I hear her say, a little uncertain at the end.

“Who’s Cory?” I ask, wondering if that is her current boyfriend.

“Oh my god. Right, you don’t know Cory. Um . . . well. Has mom not told you? Cory is my fiancé.”

“What?”

System failure. Brain shutting down. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT? This seems like some pretty important information. Why would mom keep this from me? I talked to her a week ago. I don’t know what to say. Surely her fiancé won’t want me around.

Emma, I am so sorry. I didn’t know. Congratulations. Mom never told me, though this seems like something she should have mentioned. Look don’t worry about me, I will find some other place to stay. Maybe I’ll just swallow my pride and call mom.”

“NO!! . . . I mean wait, I can call and ask him then call you right back. It’s no problem seriously. I really want to see you, it’s been so long. Besides, mom is in the process of moving anyways.”

WHAT? What the hell, why doesn’t my mother tell me anything. This is ridiculous. Is she getting married too? At this point nothing would surprise me.

Another thing she failed to mention. Where is she moving to? I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” I say, disappointment clearly in my voice.

I feel a little hurt that she didn’t tell me these things. Have I been that distant to my family? I may have not called as often as I should have, but I talked to my mother almost weekly. I feel like I’m losing my family. It’s really ironic. Last week I probably wouldn’t have cared as much, but family is all I have left. I have been a terrible son and an even worse brother. I have to do something, I have to change.

“She’s actually moving here. She probably didn’t want to bother you about it. Look, why don’t I call Cory and make sure it’s ok. Like I said it should be ok, but it would be rude not to ask anyways. I can call you right back, ok?”

“Sure, look, just don’t force him. I can always move in with mom. Speaking of mom, I am going to call her right now and see why she has been so tight lipped about things lately. How about I call you back in five?”

“Ok, talk to you in a few. Oh, and dev?”

“Yeah Em?”

“Love you”

“Love you too, Em.”

I hung up the phone and began immediately going through my contacts to find my mother’s number. This isn’t something small that she forgot to tell me. This is a big deal. She’s moving across state lines, not down the street. As I find the number I look at the picture I used for her contact info. It’s a picture she texted to me about four months ago, she looks so beautiful in the picture and it makes me miss her so much. It’s been almost a year since I last visited her and every time I see the picture I feel the need to run straight to her. Had she already planned on moving then? Why wouldn’t she just tell me? The picture is of her at the lake, she enjoys the outdoors and she has a rare smile on her face. Her features are sharp, severe even. She’s absolutely a beautiful woman, I am not ashamed to admit. In her forties and she looks to be in her thirties.  Her dark hair that she keeps shorter in the back and comes to her jawline in the front has always been her defining feature. It accentuates her strong jawline and pert nose. Like I said, severe yet beautiful features. Severe features to go along with her severe demeanor. Well, severe or not, she has a lot to answer for, I think to myself as I hit the call button.

As the phone rings my fury and resolve dissipate. I start to worry, once again I called without thinking things through, I can’t just yell at my mother for not telling me things. She doesn’t owe me an explanation. Oh god, what am I going to say? I can hang up and tell her I pocket dialed her. Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

“Hey honey, what a pleasant surprise. You never call me twice in a week.” My mother’s voice brings me back to reality. Well, I could still hang up. No. I have to be more reliable. A better son.

Hello mom, why didn’t you tell me you were moving?”

“Who told you that? Yes, honey I put the house up for sale and it sold a lot quicker than I thought it would. Honestly I didn’t tell you because you’ve been so caught up with work. It’s not like you come see me very often, but now I will be closer to you and you can visit more.”

Well, that sounds reasonable. Wait, no. She still should have said something. This is a big deal, right? I know I should be upset, but . . . wait there is something else.

Ok, but why didn’t you tell me that Emma was getting married? That’s big news. I don’t understand why you have been withholding things from me”

Silence. My mother is speechless? She kept this from me for a reason then, I wonder what it could be.

“Did you talk to Emma, dear?”

“Yes, we talked today. She didn’t seem to hate me. I was surprised and felt a little ashamed that I waited so long to apologize. She is the one that told me you were moving as well.”

“Oh . . . Well, Honey that’s great to hear. It’s about time you two made up.”

Weird. Her voice went up. She’s lying? No, why wouldn’t she be happy about that? She’s probably just surprised.

“As for her engagement, well, I think she could do so much better. He seems nice enough, but Emma deserves the best.”

“I agree that she deserves the best, but shouldn’t that be something she decides on her own?”

I hear laughter from her end, my mother is laughing. Her laughter is like music. It’s been so long since I’ve heard her laugh it gives me pause.

“Oh honey, talking again for a day and you’re already protecting her again. Sorry, it’s just been a while since you’ve taken up for her and it just took me by surprise. Look honey, I didn’t tell you because I knew you weren’t talking and I didn’t want to bring up hurt feelings. I didn’t think you would care.”

“Of course I care. She’s my sister. I also care that you’re moving, that’s important information. Please, keep me informed. I can come help you move if you need the help. I don’t mind. In fact it would help me as well, I don’t exactly have anywhere to live currently. Emma said I might be able to stay with her, but she has to ask her fiancé first.”

“You don’t have anywhere to live? What happened?”

“It’s a long story, but bulletpoints are I found Tracy cheating with a co-worker, somebody I thought was a friend, we broke up and I couldn’t take working in the same place that they both worked so I quit. She moved out and the rent is just too expensive. I can’t afford to live on my savings and nobody is hiring. It’s been rough, I’m not going to lie, but I think it’s for the best that I move.”

Telling my mother about what happened only made me feel worse. This happened weeks ago and I didn’t tell her. What kind of hypocrite am I? I can’t believe I thought I was justified in being mad at my mother.

That’s terrible. I am so sorry to hear that. You can always live with me baby, I can’t believe that woman. What kind of a monster does that? Honey, you can always live with me, I would love that. Hopefully I’ll be all moved in by Sunday. “

“I can’t wait until Sunday mom, the landlord was nice enough to let me skip the rent and stay an extra night, but I have to be out by tomorrow. If I can’t stay at Emma’s, I’ll find a cheap motel for the night and help you move Saturday.”

“I really think it would be best if you stayed with me, baby I really need to talk to you about something. . “

She cuts off as I hear yelling in the background.

“Baby, wait one second . . . “  I hear her talking to someone in the background. No not talking. Telling. There is the mother I know. She seems to be upset about something.

Mom, it’s ok. I will let you know what Emma says.”

Ok, honey, I have to go. They almost destroyed my armoire. These people have no respect for my things, maybe I should have just moved them myself. I’ll call you later, ok? Keep me posted. Love you baby.”

“Love you too, mom. I will, bye.”

After talking to my mother, I feel a little better. Maybe she really was just trying to spare my feelings. I can be a little emotional at times I admit. It does seem out of character for her though, I wonder what is going on. Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time she was cold to me. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed this change.

Looking down at my phone I quickly search through the contacts again until I find my sisters number. The picture is of her and mom at an Italian restaurant near where my sister used to have an apartment. The differences between them are vast. Honestly besides her nose, ears and deep green eyes, my sister is quite different than my mom. Long blonde hair that comes down to the small of her back and a face that is more cute than beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, my sister has plenty of beauty, but it’s more a youthful beauty than the striking, mature beauty of my mother.  Her 5”4’ frame is also much smaller than my mother, who has about 5 inches on my sister. I really miss her a lot.

I hit the call button as I shake my head to clear my thoughts. As the phone rings my stomach does flips thinking of the rejection waiting on the other end of the call. There is no way her fiancé wants to share the house with her brother. I’m just going to get in the way, maybe I should just move in with mom. She seemed pretty open to the idea, happy about it even. The phone only rings once before I hear my sister’s voice.

Dev, Hey what took you so long? I was worried you changed your mind and I was about to call you.”

“Emma, hey, I’m sorry I was talking to mom and she was explaining why she wasn’t telling me things. Look, I realized that I was being a bit forward in asking you for this huge favor. I mean, I haven’t talked to you in two years and then I call you out of the blue and ask for this monumental favor. I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible brother. I completely understand if your fiancé doesn’t want me around. Mom said I could always stay with her if he says no.”

“DEVIN, stop talking. Can I get a word in please?” Emma cuts in laughing. She has great laughter too. God I missed her laugh. It’s like a jolt of electricity and it puts a smile on my face immediately.

Of course you can stay with me. I told you it wouldn’t be a problem. I just had to tell Cory and make sure he didn’t object, but honestly I would have let you stay anyways.”

“He’s ok with it though, right? I don’t want there to be any friction between the two of you”

“No friction huh? Well I can’t promise that. We are engaged after all.” She says with a laugh. Then she sounds concerned. “Yikes, that was a little crude huh?”

 “No it’s fine. I miss your humor. It’s one of the things I like about you the most.” I laugh as I respond.

Well, if you’re sure it’s ok, I will pack up and head that way. I’ll try to leave early in the morning and be there by tomorrow evening. Thank you so much Emma, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“You would be living with mom, honestly I can’t believe you called me first. You and mom have always had a special relationship. I’m glad you called me though, I miss you so much. I’ll let you go get packed, but please be careful on the drive. OH, I’ll text you the address and let me know when you get to town. Love you Dev.”

“Love you too, Emma. See you soon.”

As I hang up the phone I look around my apartment. The boxes are all packed. My landlord told me to pay or get out last night. Without my sister I would be living out of my car. I need to show her how much this means to me, maybe buy her some flowers? Nah, that’s weird, right? Yeah that would be weird. I could always just give her cash, but I doubt she would take it. She deserves so much better than me for a brother. I’ll figure something out.

Moving the boxes out to the car didn’t take long. I honestly didn’t have much. Clothes and bedding makes up the bulk of my possessions. The bed was taken by Tracey as it was hers. The couch I’ve been sleeping on belonged to the landlord. I used to have a nice T.V. and entertainment system, but that got damaged in a rage fueled night after Tracy moved out. I just left it where it was sitting. The T.V. stand was worth less than the trouble of moving it.

Packed up and ready to go I showered and left the apartment the next morning. Taking one long last look at the place I spent the last three years of my life. Bittersweet memories, really. Sure there were fun times, but they paled in comparison to the hurt. This next chapter of my life would be better. I would find a nice girl and begin anew. Maybe my sister has some friends that would like an out of work, slightly out of shape homebody. Yeah, keep telling yourself that Devin.

Travelling down the highway I pass a sign telling me I have less than 30 miles to go, I get a bit nervous as I glance over to my travelling buddy and let out a sigh. I probably shouldn’t have bought her a fish. She’s going to think I’m crazy. On the other hand, the fish seems to be having a wonderful time, swimming around his little plastic box. He’s been great for bouncing my thoughts off of as well, really great listener. I was going to buy her flowers, but the nice girl at the store told me that fish were great gifts. Her chest was hypnotic, so of course I bought a fish. Maybe I should toss it. That would be best, right? Would that be littering or murder? Maybe I shouldn’t have driven 12 hours straight after tossing and turning all night. If I thought I was nervous last night, it had nothing on how I feel right now. I’m seriously considering dumping the fish. NO. Stick with the plan. Worse comes to worse you can always say it’s your fish.

As I pull up to the address that my sister texted me, I am flabbergasted. It is a magnificent two story house with a wraparound porch. In this city, this home would easily go for upwards of a million dollars. I know my sister makes good money, but what does Cory do for a living? Is mom helping them pay for this? Benefits of two incomes, maybe? I sure never felt this secure with Tracey. What she didn’t spend of my money on herself went to food and rent. As her personal motto seemed to be “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is also mine.” Yeah, I probably should thank her for leaving, just wish she would have done it without the cheating.

I pull in next to a shiny sports car. The thing is absolutely ridiculous. What kind of moron spends his hard earned cash on that kind of thing? Maybe Cory is a car guy. Great, we probably don’t have anything in common. Next to this beautiful car, my car looks like it should be in a junk yard. I probably just decreased the value of this home by parking near it. I have to get my act together. Shaking my head to clear those self-pitying thoughts I make my way up to the door. Heart pounding in my chest, I reach out and press the doorbell.

Oh god, what am I doing? This is ridiculous. I am torpedoing myself into my sister’s life. She has this beautiful home and a wonderful life and here I am just barging right into it. I decide that I will use the fish as a protective barrier to what waits beyond the door. Yeah, come on little buddy you can do this. Hearing the door open I thrust the fish forwards in front of my face.

“Hello, can I help you?” A man’s voice says.

Hoping it was my sister that answered the door, I was disappointed. I peak around the fish’s box and see a tall dark haired man standing about six feet tall. He has a trimmed beard and dark eyes, but otherwise looks fairly normal. He looks fit, but still not exactly someone I would expect my stunning sister to marry. In fact, he looks a lot like I used too, before I let my beard and hair grow out. I gave up after Tracey broke my heart. It was just hard to care anymore about myself after feeling so rejected.

“Hi, my name is Devin. Is Emma home?” I ask, feeling like a child lost at the mall.

I see his eyes narrow a little as he takes in my face. It looks like he is suspicious. I told him my name, I’m sure he’s seen a picture of me before. What is there to be suspicious of?

“Oh, right, her brother. Yes, come in she’s in the shower right now.” He says as he stands aside.

Holding the fish tight to my body I cautiously walk into the house. Looking around I wonder to myself if I should take my shoes off. This is a beautiful home. Surely they take their shoes off at the door. That’s what rich people do, right? I’m sure he would tell me if I needed to take them off.

“Take a seat, I’ll go let Emma know you’re here.” He says, sounding annoyed. He is pointing at the living room so I walk in a sit down on one of the couches. It’s a nice leather couch that look more expensive than my car. 

As he walks away and up the stairs I take a moment to look around. I thought the outside was great, but this is just insane. Paintings on the walls, beautiful rug, expensive looking glass things. I mean they probably have a name, but to me they’re just glass things. Wow, what in the world has Emma been up to these past couple years.

“Devin?” I hear my sister’s voice travel down the stairs.

As I turn towards the sound of her voice my heart begins to beat against my chest. Faster and faster. I feel a little sick. Nervous beyond, belief I stand up and hold the fish in front of me as a barrier again. This is weird. This is really weird. I see her run the last few steps down the stairs and turn towards me. She is wearing a short robe and her hair is up in a towel, but all I can think is “Beautiful”. That is the only word to describe her. I have always thought that she could be a model. She runs right at me and I hold the fish a little tighter.

She runs right up to me and looks down at the fish with a confused look. I hold it up a little higher as an offering to her. Yep, this is weird. She hates the fish. Should have went with flowers. Damn you woman with huge breasts at the store.

My sister gives me a huge smile and takes the fish. She then sets it down on the table next to her and wraps herself around me in the tightest hug I have ever felt in my life. Oh wow, she smells amazing. Of course she just got out of the shower so that makes sense. I return the hug, with a little less pressure as I don’t want to break her ribs.

“I missed you so much, Devin.” She says, a little muffled as her face is pressed against my body.

“I missed you too, sis.” I say with a smile. This is the best. I don’t deserve this hug. I was such a jerk and all she was trying to do was help. I get a little depressed for a second, but it’s impossible to stay depressed when she is hugging me so tight.

As I look up I see the man from earlier has made it back down the stairs and he does not look amused. He is staring daggers right at me. Trying to break the tension of his stare I reach out with my hand.

“Hi, you must be Cory, right?”

Immediately my sister breaks the hug and stares back at the man. “You didn’t even introduce yourself?”

“When should I have done that exactly? He showed up with a fish in my face and demanded to speak to you.” Cory (Probably) said.

“Dev, were you really so rude?” Emma asked as she turned back to me. The hurt evident on her face.

Looking up at this man, confused, I wonder what the hell he’s talking about. Sure the fish was weird, but all I did was ask if Emma was home. Was I supposed to assume this man was Cory? Oh god, did I fuck up already? This is a nightmare. I knew I shouldn’t have come.

“If I was rude, I apologize. I honestly didn’t even know if this was the correct house.” I said, hoping that I didn’t fuck this up already.

“Wait, what exactly did you say? Did you demand to see me?” Emma asked.

“Hi, my name is Devin. Is Emma home?” I repeated what I said earlier.

“God damnit, Cory.” My sister yelled.

Ok, so that is definitely Cory. He seems to be in trouble. Damn, I forgot how frightening my sister can be when she’s angry. Should I step in and take the blame? It’s not exactly my fault, but I feel like a burden already and I haven’t even been here for ten minutes.

“That doesn’t sound like a demand to me. Why couldn’t you just introduce yourself? Would that have been too hard? Devin has been driving for half a day and you couldn’t show a little bit of courtesy to him?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I should be courteous? Should I thank him for showing up unannounced too? I didn’t even want him here. You told me either he stays or I go. What do you want from me? We’ve been together for almost two years and I’ve never even met the guy, but you want me to drop everything and cater to his every need.” Cory yelled, red in the face.

Holy shit. This is bad. I just walked into a powder keg and I don’t see any way to exit.

“He’s my little brother, of course you should be courteous. Why are you so fucking hostile towards him? You’ve never even met him, but the second I mention that he needs a place to stay you lose your shit. What could he have possibly done to deserve such hatred?” My sister yelled right back at Cory.

Wait, what? She told me he was cool with me staying here. Why would she lie? I would never have come if I knew it would create a problem in her life. I don’t want this. I would never hurt her. This isn’t good at all, I have to stop this somehow.

“The second you mention him? That’s laughable. You mention him every god damned day Emma. You would think the guy found the cure for cancer or something. Did you see the piece of shit car he drove up in? I was expecting a god damned Adonis to walk in here, not a god damned homeless lookalike.” He said, pointing at me.

“How dare you insult my brother? What kind of monster does that to somebody he just met?”

 Ok this has to stop now. I can’t handle my sister being so upset and honestly that insult kind of hit me at my core. I do have a shitty car, but come on man, that wasn’t necessary.

“Emma stop, please. Cory obviously doesn’t want me here. I completely understand. I can just leave, Ok?”

“Yes” Cory yelled.

“NO” Emma yelled at the same time. Turning towards Cory. “What is wrong with you?

And they’re right back at it. This time Emma walks right up to Cory and screams up at him. Although it doesn’t look like Cory is backing down. Shit, I tried to end the argument and just intensified it. I reach down and grab the fish. Somehow having him close by comforts me. We shared a lot during our drive and he makes a great shield. I could always just leave while they’re fighting. It would probably be for the best. Not sure where I would go, though. I guess I could stay at a hotel. Looking around I make my exit.

They don’t even notice me as I walk out the front door. Starting my car I pull out down the street and park at the curb. I pull my phone out, wanting to send a text to Emma to tell her where I am going. I immediately see multiple texts from Emma as well as some missed calls. Oh damn, I feel terrible. I haven’t looked at my phone in eleven hours, wow. That’s a lot of texts.

Emma: Keep me posted. I can’t wait to see you.

Emma: Off to work. Let me know if you get here earlier and I’ll take off.

Emma: Eating lunch now. What do you want for dinner? Pizza?

Missed call from Emma

Emma: I know you’re driving, but when you see this will you text me?

Missed call from Emma

Emma: Should be home by 6. My day has been rough. Can’t wait to see you.

Emma: Hey, I’m home. Text when you get close.

Missed call from Emma

Emma: Hopping in the shower. I hope you’re ok. Haven’t heard from you. Call me when you see this.

I am such a piece of shit. I told her I would text her when I got close. Why do I always fuck these things up? I can’t believe she didn’t slap me as soon as she saw me. Should I call her? She’s probably still yelling. Fuck. A text. A text should be fine.

Devin: Hey Emma, I am so sorry I caused all this trouble. I’m going to find a hotel tonight and head to moms in the morning. I can’t express how bad I feel for causing all this. The only thing I could think of that would make things better was my absence. I don’t want to ruin your life. I can’t stand the thought of us going two years without talking again. I’ve missed you so much and it was great seeing you again.

I send off the text, hoping she doesn’t blame me for the fight. I didn’t do much, but Cory is much more prominent in her life and I feel like she would side with him. I mean, we used to be very close, but it doesn’t feel like that anymore.

As I drive through the city I spot a cheap looking hotel and pull in the parking lot. It doesn’t look too dirty and I honestly could sleep in a dumpster at this point. I feel emotionally and physically drained. I pay the man at the desk and head up to my room with my new best friend. I still haven’t named him. Honestly it was going to be a gift, but I fucked that up as well. I decide to name the fish Ember. That was the nickname I gave Emma when we were younger. The name brings back fond memories of playing as children. If I can’t stay with my sister then at least I can feel like she’s close by.

As I sit down on the bed, wondering how dirty everything is, I pull out my phone. I see a texts from my sister.

Emma: You didn’t cause anything Devin. This was inevitable. I knew he had animosity towards you, but I just assumed it was because he didn’t know you. I never thought he would be so rude. I should be the one apologizing. He shouldn’t have said that about you. Please come back.

Emma: Devin, don’t go silent on me again. I need you to text me or call me. I’m worried about you.

Missed call from Emma

Emma: GO AWAY. I DON’T WANT YOU HERE

Emma: OMG DEVIN THAT WASN’T ME!!!!

Emma: I am so sorry. He’s acting crazy.

Missed call from Emma

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Am I the sane one? That is not good. I like myself a lot, but even I will admit I am not the poster boy for sanity. I decide to call my mom. She will know what to do. I can’t believe this shit. I thought this would be a new chapter of my life, but it’s turning into a nightmare. I quickly scroll through my contacts to find my mom’s number and hit the call button. As the phone is ringing I realize I don’t exactly know what I should say. How do I explain this situation? I’m not sure if I even understand it myself.

The phone continues to ring and eventually goes to voicemail. I leave a quick message asking her to please call me back. I may have sounded a bit manic, but I honestly don’t know what to do.

I need to calm down so I turn on the T.V. and watch some cooking shows. They always seem to calm me down. As I’m watching I notice the girl on the show has a very similar haircut to my mother. She also has striking green eyes. I feel like she’s staring right into me as she speaks to the camera. I can’t help but get turned on by her. She has amazing tits. No, breasts. No . . .  tits. Damnit, now I’m getting hard. The way she’s rubbing that meat isn’t helping. Fuck it, I take off my shirt and unzip my jeans. I reach down and grab my dick. It’s been weeks for me, I haven’t really been in the mood the past few weeks, with everything going on. I start to stroke myself slowly as I watch the woman rub the meat. God damn, she has amazing eyes. You know, mom sure can cook, too, I bet they would get along really well. I feel a spike in adrenaline as I stroke faster. I imagine the lady rubbing my dick with my current pace, her tits swinging with the rhythm. I hastily grab my phone and pull up a porn site I frequent. In the search I put green eyes black hair and soon find a video that looks just like the woman on the screen. She’s giving some lucky guy a blowjob POV style and staring up into the camera with her deep green eyes. I stroke faster, feeling the need to cum mount. The woman in the porn has a hairstyle very similar to my mother I notice. I feel my heart speed up as I continue to stroke my dick. I close my eyes and replace the actress with my mom.

Suddenly my phone rings, my mother is calling me back. The screen shows the picture of her at the lake. Her hair just like the woman in the porn. I continue to stroke my dick, looking deep into my mother’s eyes. The photo just turns me on even more. As the phone rings I just keep jerking. Now I am imagining my mom looking up at me with those green eyes. My dick in her mouth as she sucks. I imagine her taking my dick deeper and deeper each time she bobs, looking up at me saying “Cum for mommy” “Give mommy all that cum"

“OH, F-F-FUCK” I scream as I shoot my load all over my stomach. Four times, Five times, my dick just keeps sending cum out. I haven’t had this strong of an orgasm in years.

As I come down from my high, I notice the phone is no longer ringing and I have a missed call from my mom. Shit, did I just think about my mom while jacking off? Yes. And it was amazing. This is bad. Now that I’m not horny any more it seems wrong. It sure as hell felt right at the time though. God damnit what is wrong with me? Ok calm down. First clean up and then call her back.

After cleaning myself off with a towel I sit on the edge of the bed and search for her number. I find the picture that had me cumming all over myself moments ago and I feel a jolt of excitement. I find myself becoming aroused again. No. Call your mother. I hit the dial button and hear the ring. She picks up after the first one.

“Devin, what did you do?”

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